Global Warming: The Only Hope For First-Time Buyers?
I’ve read some pretty odd stuff about the housing market but I’ve yet to come across anything as entertainingly off-the-wall as the suggestion that first-time buyers should welcome the eco-apocalypse.
This, at any rate, is the reasoning of “three young couples in London, England, planning to buy our first homes.”
The couples (above) run a website called FirstHomeBuyer which includes a page on drought titled: “The Environment Could Help Home Buyers”.
The argument runs thus: The South of England has a drought problem. It also has a lot of people. If population levels continue to rise and the droughts worsen, water companies will be forced to turn off the taps:
“People will have to use buckets to collect water from tanks or trucks in their street and immigrants will choose to live and work in other countries with better water supplies.”
Meanwhile, back in a semi-tropical Acacia Avenue many residents – presumably weary of the breakdown in queuing etiquette at the standpipe – will migrate North like a herd of wildebeest in search of a watering hole.
It’s at this point, surrounded by scorched earth, warring neighbours and a jungle of vegetation sprouting in the cracked pavements, that FTBs will fall to their knees and rejoice.
Why? Because fewer immigrants and the exodus northwards mean demand will fall in southern England and house prices will crash:
“The above factors, combined with the stress of fighting with neighbours to fill a bucket of water every day, will create the mood for a property crash.”
True, if all of this comes about Clapham Common will probably look like the Mojave, and, yes, the planet will be one step closer to extinction … but hey, look on the bright side: you’ll have a really nice tan and a three-bed semi will be much more affordable!
Now there’s an inconvenient truth that Al Gore forgot to mention.
Next week: why FTBs should look forward to a plague of locusts.